Not Just A Note
by AnimashLover101
Summary: 'I feel like I should hate you, but at the same time I don't. I feel like I can't trust you but at the same time I do.' Newts letter to Thomas. One-Shot. An assignment of mine. TDC Spoilers!


**Hey there!**

 **So yeah I've been obsessed Maze Runner now...and I really don't know whats wrong with me. Anywayyy so I had another assignment and we had to talk about someone who we think is worthy and stuff, so being the fangirl that I am, I chose Newt and wrote a letter to Thomas.**

 **Soooooooo, hope you like it!**

 _Tommy,_

 _If your reading this, then your probably too late. I've probably gone full on crank by now, or even worse, dead. Maybe you're dead. I don't even want to think about that, of course you're not dead. Of course you're reading this. There are some people here Tommy, I'm not sure if their cranks or with WICKED or not. Their saying their gonna take me away to a 'Crank Palace', whatever or wherever that is. Their giving me time to write this letter for you, maybe Minho if you want him to read it as well. I feel like I should trust these people, but I'm scared. But who knows, maybe I'll be safe in this 'Crank Palace'. I'm going to go with them. I can't go full on crank while I'm with you, I'll probably slow you down, hurt you, kill you even! I can't let that happen._

 _I can't decide. The flare is messing with my brain, it is the flare, right? I feel like I should hate you, but at the same time I don't. I feel like I can't trust you but at the same time I do. Everything's hurting. My limp is getting worse, my memories are giving me headaches. I had a sister, Tommy! A sister! You took her away from me. Someone who I trusted. I trusted you. Do I still? I saw you and the others as a family in the maze. Mainly because I didn't know if I had any family at all. You were the person I strived to be, I knew I could never as good as you. Why take me away? Why use me for your stupid little game? Dumped into a place of terror and survival? All for a stupid test. That was the first trial. It was already near to impossible. At least we made it this far. Well, at least you did. I can't stay like this for much longer, I can't deal with knowing that I'll turn crazy. I'm already in enough pain as it is. Why was I put in the maze if this is how they repay me? Surely there were many other boys far better than me, others who could last as long as you. Why am I special? What have I done?_

 _You did to me. To us. You put us all in the maze. You were working with WICKED. I went through all this pain because of you. I'm going through all this pain because of you. Didn't you see when I got my limp? You were probably watching me. Laughing as I fell. Don't remember? I tried to kill myself in the maze. Climbed up one of the walls and jumped right off it. That's why I have this limp. I should of listened to Gally, to Ben, to Alby, even. When you showed up, I knew something was up. Wanting to be a runner on the first few days. Saying you were going to get us out, even though you hardly even knew us. You were the person I wasn't. I knew you were different. Yet, I stayed with you. But your the cause of this. Its because of you Alby's gone. Because of you Chuck's gone. Everyone I saw as a family, you killed them. You might not have realised. And the worse thing was that I had to watch them die. I just wanted to keep them safe. I was the 'Glade Mother'. No matter how much I hated those words, it was true. When Alby died I was in charge of you all. I was in charge of keeping you all safe. And I failed. I failed them all. And it was all, your, fault!_

 _I hate you. I hate you so much Tommy._

 _I tried so hard to keep you safe. Whenever you were hurt I was right there by your side, watching you with panicked eyes as you started to fall into unconsciousness. Screaming your name when you finally fell and wouldn't wake up after a while. I was there for you. Were you there for me? Maybe. I don't remember. I'm losing my sanity with every word I write. I might as well wrap this letter up for you. But let me tell you one more thing. I would have rather died in the maze of instant than go through all this. But, if you ever were my friend.._

 _Kill me._

 _If you've ever been my friend, kill me_

 _\- Newt_

 **Well there ya go Newt fans! And stuff I don't know what I'm doing anymore...**

 **So I'll try to update and stuff soon but no promises!**

 **Hope you enjoyed!**

 **SNOWFLAKES AND DRAGONS xoxo**


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